God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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