I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
