There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize