She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize