I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Randomize
