I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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