you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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