I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
