he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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