Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
