then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
