then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
