Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
