i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
