I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
