Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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