i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Too much gin, very little bucket
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
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