i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
