its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
