I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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