ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You did what with his pubic hair?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
