I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
