Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
