lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
