So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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