I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Houston, we have a blender
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
