so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
