did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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