I'm going to jail i love you
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
