And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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