yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
