Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize