What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
