i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
