I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
