Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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