i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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