it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Panties = found
Randomize
