is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
