so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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