I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
