can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
