At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
