I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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