girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize