I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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