ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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