Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
