I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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