people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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