My brain says no but my pants say off.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
