dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
