so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
