Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
