My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
