fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
