Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Boobs speak an international language.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
