I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
