Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
