i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Best friends brother. Beat that.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
