Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
