Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He? As in you personified your dick?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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